Episode 21 - Anastasia

This week, we’re diving into Don Bluth’s musical adventure about a Russian princess with amnesia. In a perfect world, we could also forget this film, but this is the life we’ve chosen. It has a villain who is also a rotting corpse! It has a baffling voice cast! It has more glitter than the bathroom floor of a strip club! Join us as we examine this very lightly based-in-reality animated feature and try to separate fact from fiction and ourselves from this movie forever.

Episode 20 - Time Bandits

This week, we’re discussing My First Monty Python Movie, “Time Bandits,” an adult film disguised as a fun comedy adventure for children, like dog medicine wrapped in cheese. It features time-traveling little people who may or may not be angels, Sean Connery, and lots and lots of cow skulls. It’s wild! It’s confusing! It’s pants-on-head crazy. Join us as we try and make Minotaur heads or tails of it. 

Episode 19 - Clash of the Titans

Release the stop-motion monsters! Release the shirtless Harry Hamlin! Release the Kraken! This week, we’re discussing the quasi-educational and entirely sexy Clash of the Titans, a 1981 special effects extravaganza starring legendary actors, mythological creatures, and a whole bunch of clay. It’s not a perfect movie, but it’s perfect to us.

Episode 18 - An American Tail

Well, we’ve finally done it. We’ve taken a childhood classic we remembered fondly and ruined it by…watching it. It turns out that a dark, gritty, heartbreaking story about the plight of anthropomorphic immigrant mice coming to America to find a better life is just as much of a bummer as it sounds like it is, with the added bonus of being incredibly irritating. Join your sick, sad hosts as we try desperately to mine laughs from the hot mess that is An American Tail.

Episode 17 - Krull

Gird your loins, take up your murder Frisbee, and let us go a-questing on planet Krull. Thrill to the adventures of Prince Colwyn and Dexys Medieval Runners as they swash, buckle, and explore fabulous evil real estate in this poorly-plotted D&D campaign of an epic fantasy film. Do it for the good of the realm.

Episode 16 - The UFOs of Unsolved Mysteries

If you were ever a terrified eight year-old lying in bed at midnight, awake and fear-frozen, trying to determine whether the lights illuminating your bedroom are from a passing car or from the aliens that are finally here to abduct you, just like you knew they would—um, trigger warning. This week, your hosts are discussing some select UFO segments of one of the spookiest TV shows ever made, Unsolved Mysteries.

Episode 15 - Howard the Duck

In your opinion, how much explicit duck sexuality is appropriate in a family-friendly adventure movie? If you said zero, congrats! You were not involved in the production of this cinematic disasterpiece, Howard the Duck. If you said anything else, you either have a very specific fetish, or you’re George Lucas. Either way, you should get that looked at. Join us as we ask questions about this movie that no one really wants answered, and dig way deeper into the world of human/duck romance than anyone wants to go.

Episode 14 - Watership Down

If only there were a film that captured all the violence, political intrigue, and horror of Game of Thrones , but made for children. Good news: there is. It’s our most-requested film, Watership Down, a timeless tale about adorable, fluffy bunny rabbits rebuilding their civilization on the rotting corpses of their enemies. It’s a blood-soaked, G-rated spectacle for the terrified child in all of us.

Episode 13 - MINISODE - Star Trek TNG - "The Game"

Remember that time when we all got obsessed with Snood and almost failed out of college? This is a lot like that, but with orgasms. In this minisode, your hosts explore their strange and confusing feelings about this season five episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, “The Game.”

Episode 12 - All Dogs Go To Heaven

Murderous revenge! Troubling racial stereotypes! Dead pets! It’s everything a children’s movie needs to leave lasting psychic damage. Join Erin and Jason as they descend into doggie hell and ask the tough questions about canine theology and the cathartic appeal of film-induced cryarrhea, as they discuss the Don Bluthiest of Don Bluth movies, All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Episode 11 - Legend

Unicorns! Tom Cruise in a minidress! Sexy Satan in LEATHER PANTS. Thank you, Ridley Scott. Thank you a million, million times for the glitter-permeated, tonally inappropriate, cuckoo-bananas fantasy extravaganza that is the 1985 cult classic Legend. Pour yourself an acorn of elf wine and join us as Erin and Jason compare and contrast the Director’s Cut and the Theatrical Cut, because if you think we don’t have both versions, you don’t know us at all.

Episode 10 - MINISODE - The Tale of the Midnight Madness

Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society: our very first minisode, in which Erin takes Jason on a journey into the greatest creepy tween anthology series of the ‘90s, “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” Short answer: yes. Especially when confronted by a Nosferatu, freed from his celluloid prison and slowly rampaging through an antique theater seeking vengeance. Huddle with us under the covers as we discuss “The Tale of the Midnight Madness.”

Episode 9 - Ferngully

This week, Erin and Jason discuss the children’s movie that taught them about deforestation, animal testing, and Tim Curry’s villainous sex appeal. That’s right,  they’re talking about the millennial “Silent Spring”, Ferngully: The Last Rainforest.

Episode 8 - Masters of the Universe

On our latest episode, Erin and Jason find out what happens when you make a He-Man movie that takes everything you love about He-Man, removes it, and replaces it with Courteney Cox. That’s right, it’s Masters of the Universe, the terrible, terrible film that not even the power of Greyskull can save.

Episode 7 - Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

For the first time, Jason and Erin have totally different perspectives on the same modern cinematic masterpiece/viscerally upsetting horrorshow. Join them as they unpack the toon noir that is definitely not a film for children. Ppppplease listen.

Episode 6 - The Watcher in the Woods

In the closest thing yet to a joint therapy session, Erin and Jason try to make sense of My First Horror Movie™ The Watcher in the Woods. Listen in as they try to wrap their broken brains around the off-the-rails madness of an apparent haunted house tale that takes a hard left turn into a different dimension populated by 8-foot-tall winged Predator wasp monsters.

Episode 5 - The Black Cauldron

Erin and Jason plunge headfirst into Disney’s beautiful, ill-fated disaster, The Black Cauldron, Join them as they discuss spooky real estate, grave-robbing, suicide, and piles and piles of corpses. (Again, this is an ANIMATED DISNEY FILM FOR CHILDREN.) Let’s gather to mourn what might have been.

Episode 4 - Gremlins

On a special festive winter holiday edition of Traumatized, Erin and Jason revisit Joe Dante’s insane Christmas horror comedy classic, Gremlins. Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

Episode 3 - The Last Unicorn

Bust out your blacklight and put on your dad’s America records, because this week, Erin and Jason are follow a dangerously stoned butterfly into the nightmare world of The Last Unicorn, where they confront anthropomorphized sex trees, alcoholic reanimated skeletons, and their own mortality.

Episode 2 - Willow

This week, Erin and Jason dive deep into Ron Howard’s 1988 fantasy romp featuring store-brand hobbits, two-headed penis dragons, and being violently turned into a pig. Jason has a lot of thoughts about Sorsha; Erin continues her brave struggle with face blindness.